Meanings
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A fun look at the meaning of "fordern" and "fördern" and what demanding has to do with support, challenges and mining. In short: lots of useful words.
Vocab:
forder, fördern, die Forderung, die Förderung, befördern, erforderm, herausfordern, auffordern, unterfordern

I was wondering what the difference between “verlangen” and “abverlangen” was.
How would I say that something required a lot from me, as in energy and time?
Would you say, ‘Es hat mir viel verlangt” or “Es hat mir viel abverlangt.”? Or none of them. Vielen Dank!
Thanks for asking here :)!
So there are several differences.
1) context
“verlangen” is used for people demanding stuff from other people and situations demanding things.
“abverlangen” is not so much about a concrete thing being demanded but more about the idea that fulfilling the “demand” is really challenging and draining. It’s primarily used for situations and circumstances demanding things from us, but it may also work for someone.
The focus is always on the fact that it’s super challenging (physically and mentally) for you.
This would sound completely wrong with “abverlangen” because an apology is not actually challenging (beyond challenging our ego).
And it’s about a concrete thing (the apology).
“abverlangen” usually comes with “vieles” or “alles” or similar vague words that refer to our resrouces.
And you can already see the second difference.
2) The grammar
Only “abverlangen” uses Dativ. And the “etwas” in the second can not really be an actual object but just something vague like “viel”.
So the two are not really interchangeable.
That sounds strange because it sounds like “es” actually walked up to you and said “Give me a lot”.
Let me know if that makes sense.