Really? Do they?
Well, I for one do. Like… it’s not like I don’t appreciate the possibility to just whip it out and let go. I do enjoy a good pee outside. But in a bathroom, sitting down is just more comfy. Some quiet time. Quality time.
Now you’re probably really confused. Why am I talking about that. Well, today I want to introduce a neat little book to you called:
“German men sit down to pee”
The book was written by George R.R. Martin and J.K.Rowling, under their pen names James Cave and Niklas Frank. George… uh… I mean “James” has sent me an email a while ago asking me if I could review it. At first I was like “What the hell George. Could you finish Winds of Winter before starting new books?!” but then I gave it chance and … well… it’s actually pretty cool.
What is it about?
It’s not just about peeing. The full title is “German men sit down to pee & other insights into German culture.” and it’s about all those little cultural peculiarities you can come across when in Germany. Here’s a snippet of the Amazon description:
Ideal for anyone planning on visiting or moving to Germany,
German Men Sit Down to Pee… offers a collection of insights into
German culture while at the same time highlighting rules and
cultural norms that those visiting Germany will not only find
humorous, but useful for avoiding any cultural faux-pas.
Divided into 11 areas of life like “work” or “SEX!!” (anyone skim reading?) the book gives you about 50 pieces of advice that will make you a little bit more like a German. For example “Get excited about asparagus season” or “Be totally indifferent about reunification day.” And of course it’s not just the advice. For each cultural quirk you get a bit of background about where it comes from, how it shows in daily life and how to implement it in practice. Let’s take a peek. Here’s a snippet of “Bring your own into the office on your birthday”
[…] While another birthday means you’re yet another year older, there’s
always that silver lining: there’ll be cake. Getting a slice of it might
mean enduring a cringeworthy rendition of happy birthday from
everyone in the office but the fact that they remembered your special
day is touching. After work, there’s usually a few drinks in the pub or a
meal out, and since it’s your birthday everyone always outright refuses
to let you pay (not that you were being that persistent). That’s not
how it works in Germany. Here, if you go out for a birthday meal or
drinks, it’s custom to not only pay your way but everyone else’s as well.
At the very least you should pay for their drinks. As for the cake, it’s
your job to bring that into the office. […]
The book is 134 pages in total and costs around 5 bucks in that online store that’s called after Greek warrior princesses.
How Do I like it?
A LOT!
When I saw the cover with that Bavarian dude holding a beer I was like “Oh great, another collection of the same old stereotypes mixed with cheap jokes” but MUUUUCH more than that. Sure, a book like this has to have something about beer and something about Wurst and something about recycling, but there are a many, many things in there that go beyond the most common stereotypes and that are actually really helpful. Like… taking the kitchen sink with you when you move. People do do that around here so it’s good to be prepared that there is NOTHING in the flat you’re renting.
The book is full of little things that are good to know, like an overview over the most common insurance policies (again, it’s true… Germans do have a LOT of insurance policies) or a pretty good list of movies and TV shows. And there are lots of anecdotes that were super interesting to read, even for me. For example how the Prussian king got the farmers to planting potatoes. Because they really didn’t like them at first.
Oh and it’s super up to date an “in the scene” too. For example, they recommend the movie Victoria, a 2 hour one cut movie shot in Berlin really worth watching, and that’s only been out for a few months.
Sure, not everything in the book applies to all Germans and there is some rehashing of well known ideas here overall it’s a fun, entertaining read and a great collection of quirks and peculiarities that’ll definitely help you blend in and understand the culture a little better. So I’d say, if you have 5 bucks spare, definitely buy it. I’m super uber sure you’ll like it. Here’s the link to Amazon. You can also read a little more of the book there.
As of now, they’re selling it as an eBook but a hard copy version is in the works and will probably come out in March.
And of course no review without a little give-away. The authors are putting out not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but
5 copies of the eBook FOR FREE!!!
(sorry, contest’s over… maybe next time :)
And because the book gives insights into how Germans really tick, it makes the most sense for someone who doesn’t know Germans at all, right? So here’s what you gotta do:
Make up a crazy, ridiculous stereotype about Germans and then complete the following sentence:
“I’ve heard that (all) Germans (always)….”
Here’s an example:
“I’ve heard that all Germans drink fermented unicorn milk with their coffee.”
As you can see, it does not have to be accurate so go all out on it. The five best ones will win a book!
Really curious about the results :)
So, this was my review of the book “German men sit down to pee…” – a great little read with a lot of interesting insights. Let me know if the book sounds interesting, and if you’ve read it, let us know how you liked it.
I’ll see you later this week for some serious German learning. Bis dahin, lasst’s euch gut gehen!
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Probably completely irrelevant and unrelated to all the german stereotypes being presented in the comment section, but i wanted to thank you, sir for your blog “German is Easy”. It has been an outstanding amount of help to me (I am studying german, thus hopefully will start my academic year in Wien this fall); the explanations, the fact that the text is formulated in such a way as to simplify each topic and ‘crack down’ every word to the point where it becomes, shall I say comprehensive to all. Thank you!
Thanks a lot for the great feedback!! Viel Spaß mit Wien.
Hi Emanuel
“German is Easy” where is this article, under which section? Can you please tell
My blog used to be called “German is easy”, but I rebranded.
I heard all germans are taught from a very young age to say to ALL foreigners that their German is very gut :-) … e.g.
” – Ich sprechen nix gut deutsch … Meine Kollege komm …Warte ja?
– Wie lange bist du schon in Deutschland?
– 10 Jahre
– Ach quatsch! Dafür aber sprichst du sehr gut Deutsch! :)
– ehmm …. O_o … Danke ?!?!?! :)”
I heard all german kids have to learn a poem by heart which is about a father and his son, a horse and a gay pedophile rapist who also happens to be some sort of ghost ;))
I can still remember that poem.
Der Vater sagte dem Sohn,
oh siehst den Geist du schon?
Und das Pferd dar auf der Wiese,
ass Gras und Heu und kackte,
derweil der schwule Pädogeist,
einen Kuchen backte.
That’s just one of 34 verses. In the GDR it was a bit different btw, it wasn’t a gay rapist but communist rapist.
Anyway… one book for you :)
Very nice rendition! … Goethe ain’t got s*** on you ;))
Danke schööööön, ich freue mich riesig :D
I’ve heard that old-fashioned German toilets had a dry ledge above the pool of water because Germans were obsessed with examining their poop for signs of disease!
These toilets still exist and I actually grew up with one. A good thing about them is that the poop does not drop down a few inches into water causing the toilet water to splash up against your butt. Ugh… still not used to that.
I’ve heard that all Germans drink potatoes and eat beer. But they still love die Bürokratie!
I’ve heard that it is a state duty for Germans to work one year in Australia or Canada, but for university students 3-month travel as a backpacker also counts.
Emanuel, diese Nachricht tut mir irgendwo Leid, aber ich muss das dir erzählen.
Seit 5 Jahren lerne ich Deutsch & ich finde es super! :) Bringt mir immer Spaß wenn ich so lerne/lese/schreibe. Aber dennoch mache ich solche Fehler die sogar Kleinkinder nie machen & es hilft wenig dass die Deutschen hier, die ich treffe sind IMMER abgefuckte & unfreundliche Menschen; vom 2012 bis jetzt. Hier sind meine Fragen-:
1) Soll ich meine Deutschlernen verlassen?
2) Falls nicht (will trotzdem Bücher schreiben), dann kannst du bitte ein paar Tippen mir geben, damit sogar wenn ich nach Deutschland fahren würde, ich muss fast nie mit denen reden? Ich will meine Sprachtraining nur auf ein wenige verdienstvolle Leute benützen & ganz ehrlich, außer meine 2 beste Freundinnen & dich, finde ich niemand.
Ja, es verletzt. Aber die Wahrheit macht immer so. Was soll ich tun? Vielen Dank.
LG,
Jemand die wirklich satt bei allem ist.
Ach Mensch, tut mir leid, dass du nur Idioten triffst :). Was für Leute sind das denn?
Wenn dir Deutsch lernen immer noch Spaß macht, dann hör nicht auf. Du machst das ja für dich, nicht für irgendjemand anders. Und wenn du mit deinen besten Freundinnen reden kannst, ist doch super.
Was die Fehler angeht… da musst du Geduld haben und ein bisschen analysieren, welche Fehler du machst. Ich meine nicht Fehler mit Artikeln oder Fällen. Die sind ganz normal. Ich meine so Strukturfehler. Situationen, wo du etwas so sagst, wie in Englisch, wo dann aber die Formulierung in Deutsch nicht idiomatisch ist.
Mit Kleinkindern darfst du dich aber nicht vergleichen. Die lernen die Sprache ganz anders als du und bloß, weil ein Kleinkind was richtig macht, heitßt das nicht, dass das pipieinfach ist.
Und dein Kommentar ist schon ziemlich gut. Ein paar Fehler sind drin, klar, aber kein Grund frustriert zu sein, oder unzufrieden mit dir. Schreib doch eine kleine Geschichte über die ganzen deutschen Idioten, die du triffst. Auf Deutsch natürlich. Dann hast du was negatives in was positives verwandelt :).
Ich liebe das!! •u•
Ja, du hast völlig Recht, die beide sind auch da, meine Fehler zu korrigieren, also ist das kein Problem. Ich liebe diese Sprache zu viel, es zu einfach hinterlassen ^^. Ihr habt tolles Essen, übrigens :D
Bestimmt! Werde ich unbedingt viel über diese Arschlöcher schreiben, und ich habe jetzt Pläne. Viele >:)
Die würden das bestimmt bedauern!! Aber auch, falls ein Ausländer plötzlich mit dir in Deutsch redete, würde es dich erschrecken? Sowas ähnlich war bei mir passiert; sie war eigentlich erschreckt. :/
Nö, warum soll mich das erschrecken :)? Du meinst, du hast eine Deutsche getroffen, mit ihr Deutsch gesprochen und sie war erschrocken?
I’ve heard that Germans are so on time that they die on their funeral day.
I’ve heard that there’s a law in Germany that says every film must contain at least one character portrayed by Daniel Brühl.
Hahahaha… so true!
Glückwunsch, the omnipresent Daniel Brühl just won you a book :)
I have heard that German believers plan their afterworld holidays as soon as they are eighteen.
Because this popped into my head when I read your headline, I had to share. See what Americans think of sitting down!?
https://www.advocate.com/election/2015/12/20/watch-snl-debate-skit-shows-donald-trump-mocking-jeb-bush-little-girl
“I know for fact”.. how would he know. God, I wish German politics could be a little more entertaining. Also, isn’t Trump of German decent? Because often the people who accuse someone are the ones who actually do it and they just accuse others to hide. Oh and what would Trump do if he were to visit the chancellor and find a little sign in the toilet. Or what if Merkel went to the toilet after him and found some drips on the seat. Diplomatic crisis ensues.
I have heard that one way of identitying a german baby is that it starts cleaning its crib as soon as it is born,
Only a week though. Then they start working at Mercedes and get a cleaning lady.
I’ve heard all Germans can speak German without spitting, unlike the rest of the world.
I’ve heard that all Germans will start stuttering and become colorblind which is called a Herzflag in German, if they see a German flag hanging outside on the street unless the day before you put them on the Kickertisch, sprinkle them beer mixed with apple juice and hit them on the head with a football, a necessary ritual all hooligans perform before painting their faces with golden Schnitzel paste, fresh red sausage juice and black coal from Grillen last evening and gathering to watch football.
Wait, so you’re saying Germany has a flag???
Good, I see in your area you have never suffered from this undeserved plague! Congrats.
The normal duck goes quack quack quack
But the german duck strangely goes nak nak nak
Is it because the Germans do all Quatsch quatsch?
Oh it rhymes!
When is Christmas time
I need Glühwein
Hmmm… you sure you haven’t already had some Glühwein :)? “Quack” is what the frog does and you need a distinction there. Precision.
Hey, although i’m reading this when i’m already a little drunk, i still want to get the book right away. But it seems i have to read it in a tablet – Kindle version only – right? Can one have a paperback version?
Not yet. According to the authors it’ll probably be out in March.
Nice review, I will certainly read it.
“I’ve heard that the body of a german is composed of 70% of beer instead of water.”
In my sexy opinion, that’s great. :)
I’ve heard that Germans use dinosaurs to guard castles and castle ruins. (Or is that dragons?)
It’s actually dragosaurs.
Have you heard how many Germans it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Because they are extremely efficient and lack any humor.
I felt as though this misconception ties into the book subject :)
What’s a light bulb? Is that for lighting a room? Because Germans have been using LED for almost 50 years, because those are so energy efficient.
I’ve heard that Germans always sit while in an elevator. After all, it is called ‘Fahrstuhl’.
And then there’s this:
I’ve hard that Germans participate in all those measly giveaways like some sort of peasant nation
Damn right, we do. I’m off to Aldi now. They got broth on sale.